Month: August 2017

  • August 31, 2017

    A Change Will Do you Good

    We have all heard it the phrase.  But change is hard.  Even so, it can be a good thing.   And it can be so simple.  What I have found does wonders, is simply a little change of scenery.

     

    I have more free time on my hands right now than I have had in years.    I still find myself getting bogged down.   I struggle hard to find focus.   I have a to-do list a mile long.   I have a tasks-started-but-not-completed list two miles long.   I am so used to having the minutes of my day lined out for me that when I have hours unbooked, I can feel a bit, overwhelmed.

    For so much of my life I have lived by the mantra “work hard, play hard.”   I worked to play.   I loved my jobs most of the time, but I loved vacations even more.    I always found the transition from work to play very easy, because I was usually a little fried by the time I walked out of the newsroom, got onto a plane or loaded in the car to head somewhere fun.   I felt I earned the time off and didn’t have much trouble unplugging from the world I gave most of my life to.   Now?   Now that I have more open space before me, I find I have to work a little harder at it.

     

    There is a bit of guilt scheduling entire days to myself.    There is also the fact I work for myself now, out of my home, so even though I live steps from the beauty of the beach, I am always steps away from piles of work I could be getting to.    Oh yeah, and there are no paid vacation days anymore.    I need to stay plugged in to a certain extent to pay the bills.   All that said, I know our brains need vacations from our every day lives, no matter what those lives are filled with.   That’s where a change of scenery can do wonders.

    I’ve spent the last week up in Tahoe.   I’ve done a little work here and there, but the piles and massive to-do lists…I left at home.   I brought abbreviated versions with me, which has left me ample opportunity for hikes, lake-time and exploring new territory.     And at the end of the week, guess what?

    I find I have more focus.   I am actually a little eager to take on the to-do list upon my return.

     

    It wasn’t discipline or working harder that got me here, though.  It was getting away.   It was the peace of a mountain hike, the serenity of paddling into a crystal clear lake cove, and the awe of discovering a new body of water to float in.     My psyche got to explore some out-of-the-ordinary sensory sensations, and I feel renewed because of that.

    Look, I know we can’t always run off to Tahoe, or some other vacation spot for a week at a time.   But we all live around nature in some form or fashion and there are corners of it we spend little time around or have left unexplored altogether.    Maybe this week find a hike you have been meaning to check out and do it.    Or a beach you drive by and long to pay a visit.   How about a patio spot for lunch, or a coffee shop that seems so quaint as you quickly grab your latte to go?   Can you carve out a couple of hours this week to explore one of them.    We’re looking for a tiny detour off the beaten path here.  A simple change of scenery.

     

    I know what you’re thinking.   You have too much on your plate.   You have to too much to get done.  Here’s the deal though:   If you don’t take the time to reset the machinery now and then, your efficiency suffers.   And sometimes the best use of your time, is to take a little of it for yourself.    It’s good to work hard, play hard.  But try turning it around.    Try a little easy play and my hunch is the work gets a little easier too.

     

    “Not all those who wander are lost.’  J.R.R. Tolkien 

     

  • August 24, 2017

    Enjoy All the Days of Your Life.

    I was listening to a sermon while driving the other day.   The pastor was quoting from Ecclesiastes about time.   It so hit home.   The basic message was this:  God wants us to enjoy every day of our lives.

    We all live under the fallacy we have lots of time, but it’s simply not true.   We are guaranteed only the moment we are in.   By mid-life, most of us have learned this lesson through the unexpected death of someone we love.   We swear we will live differently.    We forget.

    I remember hearing an interview with David Crosby years ago, and the interviewer was asking David if he had any regrets.    I will never forget hearing his response.    He said something to the fact that he regretted wasting so much time, being wasted so much of his life.   “I just missed so many minutes because I wasn’t present.”  He commented.   Time, he explained, is what you want more of the older you get…more than fame, more than money, more than anything.    Things that seem important early in life loose their sparkle as you see there are not endless days before you.    Time.  It is the one thing we all get the same of…60 minutes in an hour, 24-hours in a day, 365-days in a year.    No amount of money can buy you more.   Even Bill Gates can’t buy more minutes in his life.

    I remember being struck by this and swearing to treat time more preciously.    I still waste it.   But I try to pay more attention.    Once you have given a moment away to something, someone, some thought, it is gone forever.  You can never get it back.

    Are you treating the days of your life with too much disregard?   I encourage you to re-evaluate.  What will the things you are spending your hours on this week mean to you a year from now.   5 years?   When you are dying?   Seriously.   Think about your to-do list.    Is there something more important that belongs in the place of some of the others?   What will you regret not devoting your time to when you have no more minutes to spend.

    I once had a friend tell me I squeezed every minute out of my days.    As she said it, she imitated squeezing a rag or cloth and had such tension in her face and voice.   It was amazing, she said, I fit so much into my days.   All I felt from her assessment was exhausted and so sad that with all my efforts to fit everything in, I wasn’t really fitting the life I wanted into those days.   I took advantage of every minute of every day, to be sure, but not with the things that fed my soul, my heart, my spirit.   Did I really want to SQUEEZE the life out of my minutes or to embrace them?

    I highly recommend putting more priority on the things you dreamed about as a kid, the things you hope to do more of “one day.”    Time on my paddle board is more important to me these days than some social engagements.  I choose to skip checking in on email or social media on most weekends and book one-on-one time with my Mom, my friends, my fiancé instead.   If my in-box is overflowing, so be it.  I do not want to be longing for conversations never had with someone because I didn’t have time.

    I highly encourage you to live all the enjoy all the days of your life.

     

    Cheers.

    Jeanette

     

    Time is Free, but it is priceless.

    You can’t own it, but you can use it.

    You can’t keep it, but you can spend it.

    Once you’ve lost it, you can never get it back.

    -Harvey Mackay

     

     

  • August 17, 2017

    Space Out

    So I’ve been thinking about space lately.    I am not good having too much in my world.   For most of my life I was dealing with deadlines.   I cram packed as much of life into my days as I could.   Downtime felt awkward and wasteful.    I still does.   If I have an open day on my calendar, my instinct is to fill it.   I’m slowly learning to fight that instinct.

    Not working a full-time job, you’d think I have an abundance.   But I give it away…too easily sometimes.

    When I find myself with a day free, I grab the to-do list.   What I am SLOWLY learning to do, is schedule open space.  It’s harder than you’d think, but it’s wonderful when I stick to it.

    I used to think me-time was just space in my day with no concrete plans.   Its more than that.  It means putting the to-do list, the FOMO and the cell phone aside for awhile.  If you have a cell phone attached to you in any way, you aren’t being by yourself.   You’re giving your moments and minutes and hours in that day to the hundreds of friends you have in cyberspace.    You are ignoring yourself and your surroundings.   Most of all, you are not letting your brain-space to take a breather.

    Our heads are so cluttered these days.   It has taken a while for me to realize the value of boredom.   I seriously have anxiety at times over this practice of sitting still, but I know it allows the cobwebs to clear a bit in my brain, and my creative, imaginative mind gets a chance to wander.   I also find the tension in my back lessons, I have fewer knots in my stomach and I just feel physically better afterwards.

    Who’s not stressed out these days?   Maybe try a little one-on-one time with your spirit.   Here’s a couple of easy exercises that can help you head in that direction.

    • Take 5 (or preferably 10) and lie on your bed and just stare at the ceiling.   Do not have your cell phone within reach or where you can hear it beep, buzz or vibrate.   Notice the patterns of the plaster or materials above you.   Count the holes.   Observe the cobwebs.  Feel your muscles relaxing against the bed.
    • Leave the cell phone in the trunk of your car for short errands.     You will be in and out and nothing that life-changing is going to happen in the time it takes you to pick up milk and eggs or get through the line at the coffee shop.   Make eye contact with the barista or store clerk and ask them how their day is going.   Engage with people standing right in front of you.
    • Schedule free time.  Book it and stick to it with as much conviction as you would a hair or doctor appointment.   This too is self-care and you need it.   If social get-togethers, fundraising events or even catch-up sessions with friends fill your calendar, decline a couple that don’t initiate a sense of peace or inspiration in you.   Fight FOMO.  (Fear of missing out.) Stick to a commitment to yourself for a change.
    • Take a drive….the old school way.   Turn the cell phone off.   (I am assuming that’s how to you have to do it with blue-tooth in most newer cars.).  Put on a mix of music that makes your heart happy and drive somewhere without an appointment or firm destination.   Pick someplace within an hour radius, and go there.   Have a cup of coffee, or a cold drink, or breakfast or lunch and come back.   Driving can be so relaxing when you aren’t in a hurry and not stuck in traffic, so do plan accordingly to avoid the crowds.

    Space is defined as as continue area of expanse that is free, available, or unoccupied.   Does’t that sound like a wonderful thing to offer your spirit mind and days?

  • August 10, 2017

    Test flights

    There is something magical happening right now on the central coast.   I’m talking about the show Mother Nature is putting on via the pelicans that are hanging out along our coastline.

    Over the years I have observed they arrive right around tax time…a beautiful sign that summer is just around the corner.   They seem to me like old friends who come to visit for summer fun, and they spark in me a sense of play.   If there is activity at sea, they will be out.  If there is a gathering for sunset, they seem to enjoy a pass or two to check out the action.   And if they whales are migrating, they will seize the opportunity for a little feeding frenzy.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    While there is little information out there about baby pelicans in training, the past few years I have noticed August seems to be a great month to catch the antics.    The first time I noticed it was in San Simeon. when I was watching a flock of pelicans apparently enjoying an evening feast just offshore.  I thought the anchovies must be running or something to prompt the activity, not only by pelicans, but seagulls as well.   Upon closer inspection, however, I noticed it wasn’t seagulls mixed in with the big-billed pelicans, but young pelicans.   Furthermore, it didn’t appear any of the larger birds where actually catching anything, but training their young-in’s how to feed.

    I was mesmerized.   The larger birds would fly a pattern and all the little ones would soon follow.  But instead of hitting the water at full speed, they would begin their descent, then kind of panic just as the surface grew close, throw out their brakes (wings) and paddle their feet as if to say “Whoa, whoa, WHOOOOAAA!   Could I be seeing what I thought?   Was I watching a pelican training school?  It was so adorable and amusing.

    According to Boston University, while birds are born with the instinct to fly, they need a little help honing their skills.    Just as humans are born with the instinct to walk, parents help toddlers along, often with one parent holding the child and encouraging them to step forward while another parent stands a short distance away with their arms open ready to reward them and offer a sense of safety.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    “Similar to humans, birds are born with this same instinct, mainly for the action of flight. No bird is born with the ability to fly because it takes practice.   Rather birds are trained by their parents through the power of reinforcement.”  -Nature VS Nurture/How do birds learn how to fly-Boston University

    So this practice is happening right now off beaches and bluffs up and down the central coast.   Look closely…those smaller birds flying along side the larger pelicans are not likely seagulls.    Watch as they practice flying in formation, cruising coastal wind patterns and diving for food.   It’s quite entertaining and frankly can trap me for hours as easily as Facebook or a good Netflix series.

    I’m no expert in on birds.   This is by observation only and some very crude research on-line, so I welcome anyone to offer up anything more they know about it.  All I know is it’s magical.

    So find some time one late afternoon or evening and park yourself wherever you see Pelicans gather.   (Although I’ve seen them do it at all times of day, it does seem they come out to “play” as the sun starts to sink into the afternoon sky.)   I suggest the marina in Santa Barbara, Pismo Beach, Dinasour Caves Park, Avila Beach/Port San Luis, Morro Bay, Cayucos, or San Simeon.   All work.   Then get ready to watch the show.

  • August 3, 2017

    Face the Fear

     

    I have said this and believed this for as long as I can remember.   Okay, maybe since around junior-high or high-school.    At some point I realized the rush of taking on something I was afraid of and getting to the other side, and I was hooked.   That doesn’t mean I chased that high with reckless abandon.  In fact, did so with a little less enthusiasm with each passing year.   Some of that is wisdom.    I know how bad it hurts to fall…off a horse, off a pedestal, out of love.    But with wisdom come too many fears sometimes.

    We all have fears.   Some of us more than others…maybe.   (Likely they are just different fears.)   But it is when I give into those fears that I feel most constricted and unhappy.   Usually I get to a point of discontent that is deep enough that I have no choice…I have to face them head on and move toward them, and what’s next.

    I believe we are motivated too much as adults, not by the pursuit of pleasure and happiness, but by  pain and discontent.   It is only when a situation gets painful enough that we will really push through our fears.  If only we could change that, we could avoid so much of that pain.   Fears are paralyzing.

    I keep talking, lately, about living more like our child-selves…those little versions of ourselves who liked to build sand-sculptures at the beach and didn’t care if we got a sand wedgie in the process, or stripped off our clothing as quickly as possible to jump into a body of water, without a thought about what we looked like in our bathing suits.   If only we could think more about what makes our hearts soar, rather than how they could get hurt….

    Kids don’t think so much about avoiding pain.   They want, and they ask for their object or experience of desire with every expectation the answer could be a yes.    And even if told no, they are likely to ask again.   They head into experiences the same way, with every expectation that this is going to be FUN!

    Marianne Williamson summarized it well in her book Illuminata:

     

    “Children are happy because they don’t yet have a file in their minds called “All the Things That Could Go Wrong.’  Marianne Williamson/Illuminata”

    What I challenge you to do when feeling stuck, or even paralyzed by fear is indulge the beast for a bit.  Go ahead and make the list of all that could go wrong.    Done.  You indulged the ugly creature that lurks in your brain.   Now, list all that could go right, and what may happen in your world if it did.   Zero in on those.   If even one or two of those happened that went well…imagine how you would feel.   Lean into that.   I know for sure it’s almost always worth the risk to head toward those potentials.   

    It may be big (leaving a job, applying for a job, falling in love….) or small (tackling a cleaning project, attending a new fitness class at the gym)…but what fear could you face today?  Be brave my friends.  I am so confident you will feel lighter and freer when you get to the other side.